Tucson Aftermath

I spend almost every hour of every day trying to find ways to help people communicate better with one another.  It’s my profession, and my avocation.  I always tell my trainees and audiences that communication is the secret ingredient to all human interaction.  I would like to think that when any two people sit down, with a cup of coffee, and talk over their differences, positive outcomes can occur.  After 41 years as a professional communicator, however, I have come to believe this perspective is naive.  After viewing the tragedy in Tucson, I KNOW it is naive.

I can not offer any logical explanation for what happened in Tucson, Columbine, The World Trade Center, or elsewhere.  But, I have to find a way to go on even when many of my hopes for humankind are shaken and my optimism sags.  I can’t stand up in front of my audiences with messages of gloom and doom.  Yet, I also can’t see tragedy with “rose colored glasses” as an “opportunity” for renewal the way I’ve heard some people talk or write about it in the last few days.

My only way for getting through tragedy and keeping positive as a professional communicator is to focus on small acts.  Focus on how you talk to your coworkers.  Do you greet them when you see them in the hallway?  Focus on how you interact with the clerk at Starbucks.  Do you say “Good Morning” before you bark out your coffee order.  Focus on your spouse.  Do you say “Thank you” every time they empty the dishwasher or do some small chore for you?

Small kindnesses can actually stimulate the flow of dopamine in the brain and re-charge us with both a physical and psychological “high.”  They can also become an anchor during times of grief and tragedy.

A Variety of Holiday Emotions

Driving around the Mall this week, I was amazed to find out that not everyone is in the holiday spirit.  Several drivers tried to cut me off and one “flipped me off,” because I wasn’t driving fast enough.  Oh well.  I’m still keeping my holiday spirit in tact.

I am happy to report that most of my gift-buying is finished.  My adult daughter makes it easy for me in that all she wants is MONEY.  My husband, on the other hand, relies on Christmas for the acquisition of his wardrobe.  Without the holiday gifts I give him, he would still be wearing the shirts he wore in high school (and that was a long, long time ago).  I enjoy picking out his clothes, however, because he is a trim size medium.  This means almost anything I get him looks terrific on him!

My nieces and nephew in Arizona had their first trip to Santa this year.  They are triplets, but they look and act as different as night and day.  Each has a distinct appearance and personality.  And each responded to Santa in their own way.  One of them, Ayden, seemed particularly adverse to taking part in the Santa ritual.  Here’s the result!

 

This just reminded me of the variety of emotions that people feel this time of year.  There is happiness, loneliness, joy, regret, excitement, boredom.  Emotions run the gambit.  We have the option of helping ourselves dwell on the positive, even when circumstances pose challenges.  This holiday season we may not have everything the way we want it, but let’s rejoice and enjoy what we do have.

In addition to the gorgeous triplets, I have a new nephew in California.  Little Gabriel has become the brightest light in his family’s Chanukah celebration.

No matter what holiday you’re celebrating, I wish you peace and love!

The Older I Get the More Thankful I Get

I’m taking the easy way out this year and ordering my whole Thanksgiving day feast from Dale Miller’s Restaurant.  Maybe it’s cheating, but it makes the holiday so much easier and enjoyable.  I’ll still have all the dishes and clean-up to do.  That’s enough!

Beyond the food and clean-up, I’m thinking about how much I have to be grateful this year.  And it just occurred to me that the older I get, the more I have to be grateful for.  After all, I’ve had more time on this earth now than ever before.  I’ve had more opportunity to try out new ideas, meet new people, and do more things.  True they haven’t all worked out the way I wanted them to, but many have.

With all the odds against me, 25 years ago I started my own one-woman training and speaking business.  At the time, I was a rarity in the Capital District.  Not too many woman owned their own business then.  At a typical Chamber meeting, I was often one of only three or four women who attended, with 40 or 50 men.  My challenge was especially great because my business consisted of giving advice to business people and most of those people were men.  I was young too.  So there I was a young, assertive woman offering training services to a dubious public.

Somehow, I made it work.  And for that I am very grateful.  The challenge still continues today as I try to keep my business afloat in a down economy.  I am grateful that I have the stamina to keep working at it even as the economy limps along and many of my same-age colleagues move into retirement.

More thankful everyday!

Happy Thanksgiving to all.  Be thankful for your dreams and the fortitude to make them work.

Snow Already?

The leaves haven’t even been raked yet, and now there is snow!  How could they do this to us?  We need time to gradually transition into winter.  Instead, it appeared, yesterday, completely unannounced!  Our picnic table is still in the backyard trying to gallantly endure the start of winter.

At this time of the year, many of us in the Northeast, start asking ourselves: “Why do we live here?”  Some say it is the beautiful change of seasons that keeps them here.  Other love the snow.  They look forward to skiing, snowboarding, and other highly dangerous (in my opinion) activities.  I must confess, I barely WALK in the snow.  So I certainly don’t ski, snowmobile, or anything else like that.

No, I’m content to use wintertime to “catch up.”  I catch up on my reading, my journaling, my organizing (truly a Judi passion), telephone calls to old friends (yup, I’m phoning not emailing or texting), practicing the piano, and even doing a little tap dancing in my basement.

Winter is a good time for both self-reflection and reaching out to others.  Even if the cold winter evenings convince me to stay indoors, that doesn’t mean I have to become a hermit.  Skype will be a welcome addition this winter, enabling me to see many of the people I call.

If you decide to reach out too, let me know.

I call my brother & sister a lot during the winter.

Trainer Who Does Improvisation

When I’m not conducting training session, you’ll usually find me performing improvisation. Check it out. http://ow.ly/2sK52